Toot Alors!

[Sotto]

Thanks to you all for your kind comments. I feel a bit more settled today. Had a good night's sleep and bookshop GAL all day. I'm still full of cold, but I said I would cover the full day - open, cash up, close - so I didn't want to let them down. Had some good laughs and nice chats at the store, but feeling a bit ropey now.

You know, I was thinking - really, we're the lucky ones. There are tons of people out there who haven't found this, or similar, sites - and are just enduring it all without the great support. We all know that family and friends try to help and they love us - but it really isn't the same is it?

After my wobble yesterday, I decided I'm actually pretty clear on a number of things about our sitch:

*I'm willing for us to sell the marital home (if it's part of sorting overall finances.)
*I don't want to file for D at this stage
*I'm happy if we formalise our S in a 'deed of separation'

The more I think about it, H may well be amenable to a 'deed' if I tell him I'm happy for us to sell the house and divide our finances 'as though' we are D.

I want to tell him that I would prefer us not to D using the 'fault' (under 2 years) options of infidelity or unreasonable behaviour. I can tell him that a) I don't want our M to end, and b) to end in 'that' way if it is to end. Of course, he could choose to file and I would not stand in his way.

If he doesn't want to sort out the finances overall, I could say to him - hey, either of us could file for D at any point and we would have to sort out the finances then - I would just rather we do it in a nicer way.

Of course, I can also tell thim that it would not be my choice for our M to come to an end. But you know, now I'm just not so sure that I want us to remain M. I'm not sure that I don't want us to, but I'm not sure that I do either. Does anyone else feel that way?

T x