I'm going to challenge you here, my friend. I found this one out the hard way. This entire phrase was the #1 reason that my D21 and I could barely speak to each other back in 2012. Because I'm logical, I'm older, can see pitfalls and consequences, and well, generally, I'm right! (I'm not even kidding about that!)
She chose a school in the north pole. She chose a major and minor I thought wouldn't be a good fit. She's moving off campus next year. Oh yeah, I have opinions. Some of them synch with hers (like moving off campus, though 2 years ago, I wouldn't have agreed). Most of them don't. They have to do things their own way, exactly like we did when we were 21 and 22. They have to learn from their mistakes to grow. Or they show us that we actually don't know what's best for them! I've had to tell her periodically over the past few years that I was dead wrong about a lot of things.
Eating crow isn't a strong suit for me. But I'm getting better at it with each passing year. I think somewhere between 2012 and 2015, I figured out that she doesn't need me as her mother anymore. She wants me in her life as her friend and trusted confidante. Isn't that what I was supposed to do?
Your S22 is showing you that he's capable of growth and change. He's adaptable and finding his place in this mad world. You raised him to be a good son, brother, friend, lover and father. I'd say that is a HUGE W in the win column, Kat. You've done your job well. His path might not be what you had envisioned, but chances are, your path wasn't what your folks wanted for you either.
I think you're a rock star. So now it's time to put your money where your mouth is: trust that son of yours. He's proving your fears to be irrelevant! Even if they turn out to be right, he's going to grow from this. Awesome sh!t. Really.
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
