Hi Cadet and thank you for the suggestion, makes sense.
Funny you should mention that. When I got home from work yesterday evening, she was not feeling well and having some physical ailments. I decided to hold the talk off. She mentioned how horrible she was feeling. I validated, and empathized, calmly. We did have some good conversations and a few laughs. She did mention a concert she wanted to go to in a few months. I just basically said "that sounds fun" without saying if I would go or not.
I did, however, come home with my ring off. I have some work related reasons I can use, but she never asked. I also decided to restrict internet access to the phone she uses between 4pm and midnight - it connects, just does not allow anything to go through, but also prevents use of the cell phone data. Pretty funny watching her squirm and attempt to fix it. Thinking about doing that with the other computers in the house too. Plan to cut back her cell phone plan as well, or just suggest to her that she can pay for it to relax my bills, maybe get her own. Can also restrict her phone access for a longer period of time throughout the day, if desired. Thoughts?
I always have used actions in the past. Concentrating on doing things to support her through her chemical dependence treatment (though was not there early on, as I was depressed myself, per the background story above), this is suggested by literature, regardless of how bad it gets, to prevent relapse - this does not help me though with it going to far. Recently been doing things for myself though. Going out with friends after putting S3 to bed, or during the day out of the blue. Play soccer a couple nights a week. I do feel a lot better about myself, and really have no qualms with her being there or not, though would like her to.
She has been asking me to help her with finding an article for her school work per my better resources. Been holding off on this, I have to work myself....
I was woken up this morning by her extending her feet over to me and rubbing her toes on my legs. Just got up and took a shower. We talked a bit this morning, laughed some more. When leaving, she had to run to the restroom, kissed me on the forehead. I told her "I hope you feel better." Then told S3 "Have a good day, be good, love you," somewhat loudly.
