I did not/could not deal with the high of her saying she's coming home (even though I tried to prepare myself if she changed her mind) to her changing her mind.
There are no sick days in the Army, so I am forced to tell my bosses what is going on-something I really didnt want to do. But please try and understand what I am feeling and imagine WAS telling you their coming back and then they don't. I cant even describe this. No matter how much I tried not to have expectations.
I feel like my world just came crashing down again. Im still losing significant weight, and now my bosses will know and let the judgment begin. But [censored] that. They're not in my shoes so they can pretend they understand all they want.
Spoke to W yesterday and tried to be honest with her about everything and I know she hasnt really had time to process whats going on, but i don't think she really understands what her actions do. I thnk she is starting to, but not really. OM is such a huge distraction and i don't think its a coincidence that when she's around family for a week, that she has thoughts of coming home. Once she goes back tomorrow, who knows.
I honestly don't want to do anything. again. Its like I just want to go to sleep. and stay asleep. [censored] this. I just cant.
ME: 28 W: 24 M: 2.5yrs T: 5yrs BD: 22 SEP 14 W Leaves: 5 OCT 14
