This need not be the end.

[Barry]

I really enjoyed playing football again last night. I'm no Lionel Messi but I can hold my own against some of the younger lads.
It's really just a bit of fun and fitness and is a great GAL activity. I haven't seen the lads for a year (they all work in a different company and I only know them through football), and they were really glad that I'd gone back.

I was a bit worried about my knee due to a horrific cruciate ligament injury a year ago, but it stood up to the test and I'll be carrying on playing. Even though I go to the gym, running, cycling etc, it's different muscles being used playing football so my calves and quads are a bit sore today...no pain no gain though.

When I left, I went to see one of my friends who I've worked with for 20 years. He's a great guy and knows of my sitch. He's been D twice now and lives on his own. He's a doting father to two grown up girls and is still on speaking terms with one of his XW's. We chatted for hours and had a real laugh.

I don't want to say to much about it here, but I had some really good news a couple of days ago. Nothing to do with my sitch, and totally unexpected. I wish I could tell you all, it made me believe in karma so much and you'd all be astounded at my good fortune. Suffice to say, it lifted my spirits no end which is good enough for me.

Because of the above, I actually have the oppurtunity to go abroad if I want to. Even if only on a short holiday. My friend told me that's exactly what I should do, and he said he'd been thinking about it too. So we ended up deciding to go somewhere together and to just get away from it all for a week.

I'm considering holding off on this until either an OM appears in my sitch OR we get to the end of our initial 6 month separation and W still says she doesn't want to R. Either of these could knock me back in my emotional state (i think?, maybe it won't and I may feel different by then?), but if it does, then I could just get away from the area for a bit. Some people may look at it as running away from things, but to be honest, I don't realy care. What other people think is not my problem.

He also has to move house soon as his rented property is being sold and we got talking about that. He also said that if I was interested (and my sitch doesn't improve / we DON'T R) I could move in with him, either short or long term to get me out of my parents house. ** I don't mind being there as such but it's not the same as having your own place even if it's shared. It's not really helping me.

So in the space of around half an hour, I'd been invited on holiday and offered somwewhere to live. I jokingly asked the guy if he thought we were taking things a bit too fast...he hasn't tried to woo me at all, not even bought me a drink and we're moving in together lol

Anyway, the offer is there if I want it and we have such a laugh that I'm seriously considering the offer should things not work out with my W and my DBing efforts.

I start the Emotional Wellbeing course this evening. I'll let you all know what it's like and I'm quite intersted to see how it will fit in with how I feel right now. The DB/DR principles, plus those in NMMNG have really made some positive changes in me, so I don't want to jeapordise that too much at the moment.

It could well be that it just adds to my arsenal of weapons to help cope with this whole s****y situation.

Take care everyone.

Barry.