I believe we are piecing...

[labug]

Well, labug, a lot is going on, actually. I was injured in a motorcycle accident 16 months ago, and my mother died two months later. I had several injuries, (the worse was my upper leg - open fracture, partly crushed) and 5 surgeries, and started physical therapy Christmas Eve 2014. I finally got disability at the one year mark - and it does not cover my house note. The woman who caused my accident had the minimum insurance to meet the law - 15K, and my medical bills are over 250K at this time. She got a ticket, but big deal. My first attorney dropped me when there was no money to go after. I went through most of my savings since the accident and will not be able to return to my career, due to physical limitations. My wife has had a hard time dealing with my injury and surgeries - she would get very upset and had a hard time dealing with the stress. Right before my last surgery, my wife up and quit her job, saying she wanted to be with me for the surgery and recovery. She did not work for one month, then started a job making a lot less money. I was on an anti-depressant and it quit working, so they doubled the dose. I started having terrible side-effects, and it still was not working - so I quit taking it. Then, I had horrible withdrawals and THAT is when we had our awful fight, and my wife left.

You do have a lot going on. How are you dealing with the emotional side of things? I know you were on an AD and it didn't work. Depression is a part of everything that's happened to you, what are you doing that's working or not working in that area.

Since my wife moved back into her house, I have given her everything she wanted and helped her in every way I could. I am also going to have to sell my house, so I am trying to get it ready to list. Part of that includes dealing with my mother's belongings - which has been very emotional for me. I guess I am finally grieving her loss. I took care of my mother for the last 10 years of her life.

You have my sympathy, that's so difficult to do.

I am kind of skimming the surface here, but that is it in a nutshell. My wife had said she was scared when I got so mad, and that is why she left. Me and those who know me knew I would never hurt her - but that means nothing if she felt threatened by me. So now her family think I am this monster. They do not see the bigger picture or how she contributed to us getting to that moment. I have not complained or blamed her for what happened or my current state.

Do you understand why your W might have left like that, why she was so fearful? There's a book, How to improve your marriage without talking about it that might also be helpful to you.

We have no control of what others think of us. We can only show the world who we are and let the chips fall where they may.

So, what am I doing to work on myself, you ask? I go to physical therapy twice a week and am working hard to get mobile and stronger again. I am working out with a personal trainer (a perk from my wife's new job) twice a week - expect to increase to 3 times a week soon. I lost 23 pounds since she left. I am working on household projects, selling some things around my house and clearing out the place to prepare to list it to sell and downsize. I am seeking help from SS Disability's "Ticket to work" program to find a new line of work. I need to get out of this house and back to work. I am staying in touch with friends and seeing them when they have time.

You are doing a lot. I commend you.

I ask lots of questions, but they aren't meant to be aggressive or doubting.

I believe we all have our answers inside, we just sometimes need help shining a light on them.