Wife left me three weeks ago!

[alpha99]

Hi Cadet,

I have DB book now. I have read about three quarters of it, although not in sequenece. The book is excellent although I find it slanted towards people still living together. My wife moved to her parents about 10 days ago. Since I've stopped chasing her contact is limited to picking up and dropping off children for school. I see her for maybe at most 30 minutes a day. In that time she is generally angry at me for whatever reason. She had the affair but doesnt trust ne. I have read a lot about the techniques. They seem logical and good ideas. My concern is that they may be subtle for my wife to notice in the shirt time we are together each day. As I wrote above, wearing a suit just ked her to think I was going to a solicitor. Being upbeat and confident led her to think ibwas moving on and over her since it was such a shock to her from pleading a day orbtwo prior. I feel like I'm trying hard to make various changes but they may be backfiring. My wife is headstrong but at the same time easily influenced by parents, work colleagues etc. I wish DB had some more advice on a spouse letting go of an affair. As mentioned above my wife post break up seemed.more concerned about me calling her workplace and landing the other man in hitbwater than anything else. At the same.time she insists they have finished. I know they still contact each other. She said after they had sex that the next time they saw each other in work they would just act like friends again. She mentioned how she was obsessed with this other man despite his pot belly and older age. She said she would be annoyed that he blew hot and cold and would nit be interested in her for a while after sex. My feeling is she is still in the throes of her affair obsession hence why she won't work on our marriage. I get the feeling the OM is playing it cool at the moment. I wish there was a way to terminate their communication. He leaves for another job soon although of course they could still maintain contact.
I tried LRT but as I write above she got the the wrong end of the stick, got extremely angry, and I broke down for a minute in a moment of honesty and said I didn't want this, I still loved her etc. That eased the tension but seemed to have out the ball back in her court. I just wonder what changes I can make that will provide a response from her in the little time we have together. I have tried to make goals of making her laugh or getting through a meeting without anger from her. Maybe I'm expecting too much in one go. Everything is so confusing. We went on 4 holidays last year, had some arguments along the way but I thought we were generally fine. Of course We weren't but I've got the coaching package because I don't know what to do next for the best. Being nice to her, helping her out seems to get the best response but I'm worried I'm just being a doormat whilst she lines up all her ducks in a row.