Man, this must be so hard for you. I was in the same place the weekend after I confronted WAW about OM. It seemed like she tried to start and talk to me about reconciling, but having read on these boards, it seemed like something was fishy about it. Well, as I saw 'she' didn't make the changes that she needed and I picked up on it. Basically, after a day or so of good discussion; she started to blame everything back on me, just like BD. She didn't take accountability in her role at all.
In short, if it happened it would have been just temporary and I would have been in a much worse place. However, this is the first step I had in realizing that I was starting to emotionally detach. I said the same things you are saying in your post here. Remember, there's a plan in all of this craziness.
Its easier said than received and it has taken a while for this to sink in in my sitch. But if she hasn't done her work and is coming back for convenience, emotional support, guilt, whatever; it will not be a good thing. Time is her friend in some of this also. If you take a step back, look at how her decisions are starting to align, she was all over the place moving across country just to stop and move halfway across to maybe back home.
She's still working on herself and she says it to you. That's a huge step....more than you can imagine right now. I wish I could see some glimmer that my W has worked on herself in all of this. For you, this isn't an overnight fix its going to take a while, but your BD is getting noticed. Keep it up and don't lose faith.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
