Complex No. 6 - The turtle and the rabbit

[Complex]

Complex #5

My threads are still filling faster than my sitch is moving.
And I am moving slower with becoming the best Complex ever than my W moving forward with S and D.

The only real changes since my last thread:

- Meds are still an issue but I feel almost like the "normal Complex" again

- My parents dropped the bomb on W's family (aunt). W responded angry and also told her dad and mom in person the day after.
Her mom wants to save our marriage so bad(funnily she is the one that did the EXACT same thing to W's dad, found another man, wanted out of M and left, boom - I never knew exactly how her mom left her dad but W's aunt told me this, so in the family history seems to repeat again and the whole family is shocked like hell). I told her mom it is best to leave W alone and not pressure her right now. Aunt seems to be very neutral but very sad and shocked. Everyone in the family seems to think in very high terms of me, but they know they cannot control W.

- Me and W are getting along a little better. Mainly because I stopped being "crazy" around her and better detached. I just let her life and don't ask questions or snoop or do such things anymore. This seems to make W feel a little more comfortable around me.

- I went to a lawyer/mediator and know my rights now. It is as easy as buying an iPhone to get D/mediated

- I still GAL. Gym 3-4 times a week. Found a volunteer opportunity, helping abandoned children is a care center. I started driving for Uber on the weekends to make a few extra hundred dollars per month. I started taking over my company's old secretary job to get in some extra hours (she quit a couple weeks ago) to also make a few hundred extra dollars a month. To be able to support myself fully all alone it is getting close.

- That leads to the next point of a true realization that I was NOT supportive enough in our marriage and did NOT work hard enough to support my W and my future with her. I was too much of a relaxed man, that thought everything will figure itself out, I relied on my W and I settled. I DID make efforts to find a job and I am only in the job market for 1 year here now and no one can expect any wonders coming to a new country and making an instant career from scratch, but I did not do ENOUGH. That's the point. I tried to compensate by being a perfect houseman, doing everything for my W and around the house but my social status was much lower than hers. The imbalance in our R did make me look very unattractive over time. Not to mention OM in this occasion.
And W is an independent career driven women. She wants things in her life. She "tried" to settle with me, but it is not her. She wants more in her life and I cannot blame her for that. I was not supportive enough of her efforts either.
Now am becoming the man I always wanted to be. I will be an independent man that understands and values his wife and supports her no matter what. If she doesn't want to join this I will at least become the best me, and one day I can maybe make someone else very happy.

- tonight W wants to talk. I don't know about what. Most likely about our living situation and that the S will soon become real. We still live together. I don't want to make big announcements or say much. I rather listen and validate. If I feel it can come across very genuine I might add that I am thankful for her still supporting me and that I take full responsibility for what I have done/not have done (work hard enough to secure us a future and let her do most of the work). But not sure if that is necessary at this point or if she will really dig it. I am scared of this conversation because I am not very good at this. I need to hold myself back with talking at all, listen, validate. Period. I just hope she doesn't ask me too many direct questions regarding how I think we should figure out the living situation, etc.

Thanks for everyone who is following me and helping me!