First, I think I've picked up on the game she's playing and I talked to the MC about it. Talking with him, I think he sees it too. Basically, I see that she knows exactly how to get me emotionally charged. When she wants to, she says something to me about how this is my fault, kids are fine, whatever and that's my 'trigger.' Then I seem visibly upset/angry and she says that's why she doesn't feel comfortable with me. It's never been anything even bad in a normal marriage, but I would take it like I crossed the line and started blaming myself.
So MC and I talked about it and he kind of agreed that the sessions were unstructured in our objectives long term. I said that I wanted to address that.
Also, I see that I talk about things matter of fact and confident. I'm not showing any vulnerability to her yo-yoing my emotions as like I said I see that pattern she is using. I had a friendly attitude and even when the discussions got difficult, my appearance didn't change at all. She was sitting closed shoulders and stiff even when talking and I was relaxed and kept eye contact. I actually caught myself whistling as I walked in the room.
So, I guess I've let go enough that I see the changes in W that need to happen and I can't influence them. So now's the time to take care of MCS, S5 and D4 and address 'our' needs independent of W being in our family.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
