Affair Over but Stuck

[Hurt06]

Yes, sadly. Most people here on the board have experienced this (from one side of the fence or the other).

Before I comment any further, I need to understand about you finding these cell phones. Was this after she claimed she ended the A?

Sandi

Here is the readers digest version.

Back in Sep she said she wanted a separation to figure out what she wanted and was a WAW because I was not meeting her needs...we start counseling....I had no idea about her affair and she hides it from counselor and counselor buys her story hook line and sinker....she blames me for everything.....in Oct I discovered OM had been visiting her in our home and she is having affair that goes back to May....I asked her to stop seeing him.....she refused to stop talking to him and claimed she was emotionally involved but thats all and just talking because she is lonely....thanksgiving rolls around and we are arguing about kids......I catch her on other cell in car.....she says its an iPod and starts covering....huge argument and lots of emotional trama.....we decide to spend thanksgiving at her grandmothers with kids together and "work on things"....on the way to thanksgiving she sneaks into store and purchases another pre-paid phone....which I catch her with....she denies everything in front of store clerk and clerk confronts her about the cell phone she purchased is in her purse.....more emotional fall out....I find DB and start GAL and disconnecting.......DEC comes and goes and She says in begging of Jan she wants to work on Marriage and has not talked to OM since Mid DEC....We have seen many different counselors and when we get to the point where the counselors wants us to start re-connecting....she stops going and we find a new one......

I have read more books than I can count....pod casts, therapy, videos, exc.....I personally have had a life changing transformation and learned a ton about myself including how I contributed to the whole thing....in the end it was her choice and that like many things is something out of my control....I still have hope that we can save our marriage but it has taken its toll on me physically and mentally, Spiritually. I pray everyday that I can have the strength to be the best man, husband, and father that I can be today and not dwell on what lies behind me.