Newbie needs advice and encouragement

[Kramer]

Zelda, thanks for your heartfelt and rapid response. I readily admit that I have not left her alone for more than a few days without texting, emailing, or calling. Sometimes she initiates it and sometimes I do.

I have definitely taken stock of my life and how my actions contributed to the emotional distance that pushed her away. I have taken ownership of that. I can understand how my actions opened the door for her, but she must bear the blame for walking through that door and actually having the affair.

I have realized that happiness comes from within, and that I was relying on others to make me happy. I am getting in touch with my inner self and trying to be a more positive person every day. I have always been a kind, empathetic, and forgiving person and those qualities were suppressed by depression and anger. This is an ongoing process, but I am taking it one day at a time.

I am taking care of myself, body and soul. I am doing things that are healthy and bring me pleasure, such as hiking, biking, and spending time with the kids.

I imagine that I am going through the same emotions as most of you. My head knows what needs to be done, but my heart counteracts things. My biggest fear here is closing the door to reconciliation too quickly. 4 months ago we were holding hands and talking about the future, and today I'm lucky to get a 3 word response from her. Quite a drastic change.

I just find it unfathomable how an affair of just a few months can trump a marriage of 16 years, after all that we went through.