No, you are not wrong. Look, there are times you simply can't win with a WW. She didn't get back what she sought, so her claws came out.
I just said this in another post, but will say it again. Guilt is the number one tool the WAW uses to dig at her H. She knows you better than anyone, and knows exactly how to push your buttons.
My suggestion is not to respond to any more text or calls today. Just leave it be.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
I agree VDubber. You sent a caring message and let her know you remember what is coming up and hope it all goes well. She didn't respond in the nicest way - but hey ho, let it go I would say...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
Thanks Sandi and Toots...I guess I'm just not used to not being the nice guy but time has proven that apprach hasn't been working for me. I will not respond and hope the communication today is over between us.
M: 44 W: 45 Married 26 Together 28 D: 22, S: 18, S: 9, D: 7 S: 12/2013, seperate houses OM revealed first 10/2013, stopped seeing him OM revealed 1/2015, been going on for quite some time
So yesterday when I informed WAW I was aware of her surgery Friday and hoped everything went well I did not address her comment about meeting for coffee. She messaged me after work saying I guess that means you don't want to meet for coffee. I had already decided I was not willing to have anymore communication yesterday so did not respond.
I did send a message this morning indicating if she still wanted to meet for coffee this weekend that would be fine. She said don't worry about it. She then texted me a couple things she wanted me to know that she had planned on talking to me about during coffee like she is going on a trip with her dad end of April and needs me to take kids for 2 weeks, etc. She said there was more but she would try to text it to me at lunch.
So lesson learned here. I was in avoidance for fear of seeing her and what she wanted to talk about. End result is now we won't meet and I will just get whatever info through text which makes it somewhat easier not to see her but at the same time our visual contact is zero so the opportunity for me to sit and listen and show any 180s is gone. I think I've said here I am my own worst enemy. I need to stop letting fear dictate my actions.
Last edited by vdubber; 02/26/1505:32 PM.
M: 44 W: 45 Married 26 Together 28 D: 22, S: 18, S: 9, D: 7 S: 12/2013, seperate houses OM revealed first 10/2013, stopped seeing him OM revealed 1/2015, been going on for quite some time
Thanks Sandi and Toots. I have NMMNG and can start reading it as soon as I finish DR. I will order the others. Never read so much in my life :-) I know my M is over..am I ignorant to hold out hope for a R with her? I am not ready to give up all hope as I still love her so very much and although I need to move on as me i want to still believe.
M: 44 W: 45 Married 26 Together 28 D: 22, S: 18, S: 9, D: 7 S: 12/2013, seperate houses OM revealed first 10/2013, stopped seeing him OM revealed 1/2015, been going on for quite some time
Nobody has the right to tell you to give up hoping. That is yours as long as you want to believe. Moving forward does not mean you stop loving or hoping.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Thanks Sandi. I needed to hear that as I'm just not ready. I understand someday I may need to and those that know how long it's been seem to think I'm crazy but they just don't understand that you can't just stop loving someone if you truly love them. I can't turn off my love, I just love from a distance and probably always will. It sounds pathetic but part of me is ok with this being my future.
M: 44 W: 45 Married 26 Together 28 D: 22, S: 18, S: 9, D: 7 S: 12/2013, seperate houses OM revealed first 10/2013, stopped seeing him OM revealed 1/2015, been going on for quite some time
WAW messaged me tonight to let me know she got labs back from going to doctor a couple weeks ago and her platelet count is very high and they need get to come in Saturday so she has surgery on skin cancer on her nose tomorrow and then goes in Saturday to doctor on the platelet issue.
Idk if it's good or not that she reached out to tell me this. Guess still wanting emotional support from me? And i got this text while she was at the bar with OM. She confuses me.
I did text back saying I'm very sorry to hear that and I hope everything is ok. After all, I still love her with everything I am and wish I could hold her and look in her eyes and tell her everything will be ok. I am the one that would love her no matter what happened to her and she knows this. Maybe that's why she reaches out...idk.
Just venting I guess...I don't want to get sucked in to her thinking I'm her friend. I just don't have it in my heart to not care about her health.
M: 44 W: 45 Married 26 Together 28 D: 22, S: 18, S: 9, D: 7 S: 12/2013, seperate houses OM revealed first 10/2013, stopped seeing him OM revealed 1/2015, been going on for quite some time
