Toot Alors!

[Sotto]

You know, I always get discombobulated when I see the lawyer. I know it's sound advice from her, and I trust her. The thing is - she said to me today - why don't you just file for D? And that's the thing I find hard really. In my sitch, it feels like there's a tension between finances and a desire to save the M.

Financially, it might be best for me just to file for D, that forces the whole financial disclosure and assessment process, we agree a settlement and then D. But then H would be free to go and marry someone else and wouldn't be my H any more.

But let's say I just keep on DBing. I left our MH and am renting without access to capital unless we settle our finances. It's okay for now, but the longer it goes on, the more I'll feel the pinch. I am working, but in a bit more of a relaxed and part time way at the moment, so I could always change that if I needed to.

The thing is, I can't see that we would return to our MH even if we reconcile. So I think it needs to be sold anyway. But I shouldn't agree to the sale unless it's as part of a settlement of our finances. Which I'm concerned H wont agree to, unless he's forced to because we are D'ing.

Am I making any sense? I suppose the first thing is to see if H is willing to work towards a full division of our finances and a separation agreement, including selling the MH. If we can do that, it would be great. That way, we resolve the finances, and we are still M, and I can carry on DBing for a while...

Part of me feels I just need to protect myself financially now and move on. And another part doesn't want to feel I gave up on our M too soon, or for financial reasons...