Well, labug... that is the big question, isn't it! Not sure there is an easy answer but definitely an important one to mull over. I will say that in the last year or so, there is a moment nearly every single day when I notice that I am NOT anxious about not having control over something (my D's schedule, or the subway, or something at wirkm)
It feels very freeing to just let things be..to take a breath and let myself solve the problem without freaking out.
And... the times I still DO get anxious nearly always have to do with my H (getting my D ready to be picked up by H, for example).
What am I still afraid of? Ugh. Though I am much closer to letting that go. In the last couple of days I've realized that in our entire 8 years together I felt such a void in our R-- a lack of emotional intimacy, not feeling truly cherished. I almost feel like I never really knew him. I think that divorce is for the best at this point. He is not right for me.
So why am I still angry that he walked out on me? WWhy can't I imagine being "friends" with him after we D?
Went off on a tangent there.
Back to stubborness... Well, I guess not being stubborn would mean that, even though this divorce was not my idea, I can be ok with it and not feel any anger or hurt about it.
