I think i do understand and it does make sense. this is what i have infered from all of this. I need to just breath, live for me and not worry about the past. W will resent me whether i want her to or not until she comes to terms with herself. I can only influence me and what i need to do. Self Positive reinforcement can help and work wonders along with giving a good piece of mind. Trying to control any volitile situation is pointless, especially one bubbling with emotions. The hardest but best course of action is to just let go try and focus on myself and see where the chips fall. In the end only she will decide whether she wants to be with me or not. That is my take on this entire thing. I am ready for this, for two days i have continued to tell myself that i deserve to be treated better and i derserve to be loved the right way. I have wokeup two days straight feeling better and lighter then i have in a long time. I will continue to grow and be the man she will miss and wish she still had. but more than that i am going to be the man that is happy with himself and knows who and what he is and This man will one day find someone who is willing to give me what i know i deserve!
