Affair Over but Stuck

[Hurt06]

Hi Hurt06.

My W had an EA a few months ago. She cut things off in December, and from everything I can tell she is sticking to no contact, but she is definitely grieving. She also says that she wants to reconnect with me, but doesn't know how.

Keep posting. You have found a great place on this board.

Rzrback

Thanks for the support! My wife said the same thing back in SEP, that it was just and "Emotional Affair". She lied about all this to our pastor and continued for several months to deny and lie about the sexual part. She has also said she wants to reconnect but doesn't know how. I have heard the "I Love you, but I'm not in love with you" and never meant to hurt you statement.

I travel out of town a lot and she seems to look forward to me being gone. I feel like I am walking on glass and trying to stay neutral and non conformational about everything. I do occasionally slip and let my emotions get the best of me with her around but I am working hard to get a handle on this.

Any questions I try and tactfully raise are met with anger and "you will never get over this" and our marriage is damaged beyond repair statement s from her. Yet she stays and says she wants to work on things....very confusing.

We do have deeply rooted communication problems that I have been working on for months. I am seeing a separate therapist and have learned and incredible amount about myself and how I was throwing myself into work and not meeting the needs of my wife in a way that needed.....I have done a complete lifetlye change. I accept that I had a part in "setting up my marriage for the affair and accept full responsibility for my part" I have worked trolleys to improve myself and will be better no matter what the outcome. I am 1000% committed to my wife and kids and just need to gt the fog lifted so that we can have a marriage that is 100 times better than what we used to have.