My W and I are in a very similar situation. It's amazing how similar the rhetoric is with unfaithful spouses.
My W had an EA a few months ago. She cut things off in December, and from everything I can tell she is sticking to no contact, but she is definitely grieving. She also says that she wants to reconnect with me, but doesn't know how. The sad fact is that until she goes through that grieving process and gets OM out of her system, she won't be able to reconnect with you. There's no shortcuts. Patience is your friend.
Affairs are almost always results, not root causes, of other relationship issues. You're not responsible for her decision to have an A, but it's important for you to honestly assess your role in setting the stage for it. What was missing in your relationship that she was trying to find in her A? Addressing those preexisting issues will be vital to healing your M.
You mentioned things she criticized you for and then claimed not to remember? That's not unusual. My W criticized me for things like reading books and going to church. She dug up things I supposedly said or did 15 years ago (most of which I don't remember) to justify her behavior. This thing she's in is a fog, no doubt.
Keep posting. You have found a great place on this board.
Last edited by Rzrback; 02/25/1506:51 PM.
Ex Rzrback Me 43 Her 44 D11, D15 T21, M19 BD 9/9/2014 Piecing
Sometimes if you want to see a change for the better, you have to take things into your own hands - Clint Eastwood
