Gogofo - Learning to go dark

[LITB]

I know I am still attached. This is obvious in the fact that I get some peace and hope of the fact of possibly dating her again. I know I need to work on this because my heart wants to take her out on a date the first weekend in March. So let me have the 2x4s about this one because I best get messages this way.

You know it is more effective to have the cart behind the horse?

Now you can slap me around but I have earrings that I planned on giving her for her birthday that I bought before Xmas. I think I am going to give them to her by leaving them in her room with a note. Something along the line of "I had these for your birthday and I still want you to have them." No pressure, no anticipated reaction. I really do want her to have them and don't expect anything to change or for her to even address it.

Why would we slap you around? You already know not to give them to her, yet you justify your actions.

My BS meter went off when I read "No pressure, no anticipated reaction. I really do want her to have them and don't expect anything to change or for her to even address it."

You really need to be honest with yourself Gogofo. The longer you remain on this path, the slower the process. You have setup camp in the land of attachment, and expectations, even though you have the map to get out.

If you prefer, I can hit you with a 4x4 or driver to get you to the land of detachment and no expectations.

Seriously, think about this. If/When you are calculating every interaction with your W, you are attached. When you begin doing things naturally, then the change is genuine. Not a whole lot of thought needs to go into your actions. True, and genuine change. It's a process.