Baby steps, patience and uncertainty

[labug]

I came by to journal a little.

My S26 who moved to Canada to be with his GF has a broken heart. She's done with him and the issue is something that's been brewing for quite a while. It's basically about money but it's also about his immaturity. He wasn't keeping to his agreements with her, she allowed that to go on, he kept promising things would change, things would change for a while and then back to status quo, she got resentful, kept putting up with his lack of investment in changing but finally had had it. Sound familiar?

There's been a lot of texting back and forth between S and I over the last couple of days but I think he has a plan now. He still wants the R to work but he has a lot of growing up to do and ground to make up. The good thing is he is taking full responsibility for his transgressions. But it just hurts so d@mn much.

I would love for him to come home but he (and I) knows it's best that he stay there and learn to be self-sufficient, stand on his own 2 feet.

It's been really hard not try to fix this for him. Not that I could but when at hearing the sobs over the phone it was all I could do to refrain from buying an airline ticket.

I've said many things to him that are in DR and that we say here. Maybe I should copy Cadet's welcome post and send to S26.

He'll be OK, he's very busy with school and a new job. He's never been "alone" before. He's never had to be 100% responsible for his food and shelter. (the crux of his current difficulties) He went from our home, to school with roommates, to living with her.

His friends there were her friends so that's concerning to me but he's making friends at his job. He said last night "they're all I have here."

I know that I have a very different perspective on this having gone through the process, having learned what I've learned. I know that the only way through it is through it. I hope I can provide the support and comfort to allow him to grow as he needs to grow.