Susana (5) - Stay the Night

[susana4]

I've had some time to think about some of the questions posed here in the last few days. Lots to think about.

First thing was why and whether I want to save my M, when there are no kids involved and we haven't been together that long.

This is something I have questioned at various times.

I take my commitments very seriously. And I don't want to have regrets. So for that reason, I feel I can't just walk away.

I also know that H is a good guy in many ways, and that we are well suited to each other.

OTOH, I don't know if I could trust him again. I don't know how I can look at someone that walked away so quickly and easily, and trust that he'd stay with me.

But mainly, I believe our problems are a product of our childhood problems, and I think that we will never heal those issues, unless we address them. Sometimes I actually think addressing these issues matters to me more than whether a reconciliation works out in the end. I just think we will continue to carry that baggage to any future relationships. I have addressed many/most of my childhood problems as an individual in IC, but I didn't realise until now how these problems come up in a relationship and that's a different beast.