I don't think it's a problem if you want to make a small gesture to your W on the anniversary of her Dad's death. Were you thinking of a card? If so, you have the challenge of a suitable message..a little pot of snowdrops or narcissi might be nice? And no need for a message - you could just say you wanted to give her a little something, to let her know you were thinking of her as you know this isn't the easiest time for her.
If you do decide to do something - make it purely for you and by way of atonement - and accept ahead of doing it that your W's reaction may range from appalled to ecstatic. And all of those reactions are fine. You are just doing what feels like the right thing.
If you are anxious about doing something purely from you, you could make it something from you and the kids - we wanted to give you a little something from us...which may feel 'safer' for you. Good luck with whatever you decide anyway Jim...
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
