Mom- Boy can I understand why you are tired. I think my W and I were experiencing a similar situation xcept I was the persuer and could not understand why she did not want to -- enough of that , fast forward past our issues. We are reconciling currently and although we have not come out and set a schedule, it is falling into a pattern now. I am doing alot more around the house, cooking, etc.etc. and am actually liking it now. Sooo
Just my .02 - If you are tired from chores, kids and then feel burdened by birthcontrol etc. try to offload some to him. I know it sounds easy but -- I know it stinks if you have to make all the effort at first but I would bet if you outlined a schedule for Saturday and listed what you would like for him to do (Start smaller - Dinner and children's bath's and reading) and while he is doing that go and light some candles, get relaxed and enjoy the remainder of the evening with H (Just buy some condoms and do not wait for him) and really "Act as if you are truly enjoying this", he will also relax and enjoy the moment with you. Do not get frustrated if he makes some dumb statement .. Also, let him know what you enjoy - no matter how small - Foot massage, back massage, what positions etc.. I found the verbal acknowledgement and directions fantastic.
During the week when he takes hugs etc as signs of sex, just let him know that you would like to but would prefer to postpone it until Wed, Saturday or whatever night you desire (Soon and follow through becuase he will be waiting). Do the list again soon and follow through -- this will condition him and you. I would bet that he will begin to do some of these items without you asking. I know - why should you have to? - you do not have to but I would guess after a few times, you will want to and so will he. Of course the frequency can always be increased when needed.
At random times when the 2 yr old is asleep just pull him into your room and lock the door for a quicky - no warning, just do it and enjoy it. You will probably scare him at first but he will be a smiling guy. I know for me, less frequency - although not optimum for me - is OK when I know we are on for one of the nights and possibly some other random acts on other days. Also, use this as his love bank account -- sometimes you can make large deposits (many times in a week or weekend) and not need to ML again for another week
Bottom line - if there is some consistency, he will most likely begin to back off - just talk to him and communicate clearly and precisely to him what and when you want. When you are feeling good about this - make sure he understand what it is that mae you feel loved and sexy - what ever that is and show him that he needs to also follow through for you.
For my W, it is the kind, simple acts and extra help and attention - you betcha I make huge efforts to now do whatever it takes (I was trainable I guess )
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