Unfortunately I don't believe it is possible for anyone to be able to see hope at such an early stage like this. The mantra around here - believe nothing they say and less than half of what they do.
I'm sorry you're hurting so badly. I definitely felt your pain reading about the FB posts, being held at arms length during tough medical procedures - I can definitely relate to that one.
The most valuable thing DB thing I learned and finally 'got' was that our situations are fluid, but without an appropriate amount of space to cool down, pushing talks and 180s and all will just make our WAS angry, proportionate to the amount of space or "it's over" they're projecting.
What is the longest period of time you've left her be so far?
Have you actually done the solution journal? This was helpful for me, charting out the good bad and ugly and really looking at equal and opposite reactions.
Have you done the soul searching to really feel and understand what you can take responsibility for? You mention external stressors. What else?
Put a signature on your thread with the relevant stuff
Hurting is normal, no way around that, but if you assume and accept the worst case outcome up front...what are some things you can do to find your joy in just being you and alive?
When I started here, this GAL advice was not what I wanted to hear but it kept coming up. If there is hope of re-attracting spouse ever, you gotta at least be centered, self respecting, since happy is a stretch and hilariously pleased with life is out of the question. Plus, the sooner you can start nurturing yourself the better you'll feel, period.
Do you have any ideas for yourself in terms of goals to make your changes, stick to 180s? What are those?
This board will help keep you honest and provide some clarity, the more you can post, the more support is out there.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
