Jim0987 #12 - testing out Mk8's new features

[jim0987]

Thanks all for the input and the suggestions. Its always good to get different comments and viewpoints that make me think.

I can empathise with my STBXW's interpretation of how I treated her even if i dont fully agree and know rationally that it is only half of the story (but want to avoid any kind of scorecard here). It is how she felt and there was sufficient for her to feel that way and i do not wish to try and give myself excuses.

In fact i would say i fear that i am still giving myself excuses or that there is something that i'm just not understanding. And i think its this fear that i think keeps me looping and analysing and feeling guilty.

I'm taking steps to improve myself and give myself more tools so that nothing like it happens again and this is important for my future. Because this is untested, it leaves me unsure and that contributes to the fear.

V, your spot on. I do want to find a way to atone but i'm not sure how. I have apologised but i havent atoned.

I think this is part of what gives me the urge to make some kind of gesture with regard to her Dad, as though doing something considerate and decent would at least partially begin to atone.