I suggest doing things, and her stock response is "how will that help?" "I just don't feel it!" She's convinced that in order for us to reconnect some mysterious "thing" will have to just happen spontaneously and she'll "feel it" again.
I know that feeling all too well. That is why I said the MC hasn't gotten her attention yet. She is wanting to experience the same feelings she had in the A. She has to get one man out of her system before she can have feelings for the other one.
She is still operating out of emotions. And although I am very sympathetic, she is also using it as a cop out. It is hard to do like MWD says and do the action first and let feelings follow later. I'm sure that is very painful for you, too, knowing she feels nothing. Both of you are suffering. She is craving passion and attraction, but she feels none for her H, so she compares that with how she feels or felt toward OM. Could be what she wants to "clarify" when he returns, to see if she still feels the spark.
Yes, you can get all sorts of romantic ideas from the Internet,however, most of them are very dated and people need some fresh new one. Just try to find something using search words such as "bedroom, surprises, wife". Even if you type in "unromantic", you get romantic ideas. Now as a woman, I can think of all kinds of fun, and romantic things for me to do to surprise my H. I dare say some of the most fun we ever had was some of these little things I cooked up (and had no Internet to help come up with these gems). oh...... but I did so enjoy dressing up in costumes for him.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
