Wife having emotional affair 5

[3kids]

Thank you so much PM and Zelda!

PM I was useing the kids as an excuse. But I looked last night at why. It's not them it's me. I'm just not ready yet. Hope is still there.

Had a talk with the daughter last night. She expressed why she doesn't like OM. She is not ready to give up hope of mom and dad. And doesn't want either of us to find someone else. I talk to her about her feelings. How she shouldn't hold them in till she blows up. It's not good. She expressed how sad she is still and how moving from our house that she grew up in is hurting her.

I was just overwhelmed the last couple of days. To much going on at work. To much with the kids. To much with the wife. To much with life. I'm trying to do it all. The kids complain that mom doesn't do work with them or ever follow through with stuff for school. Projects that we start and don't get finished because they go to moms. I get them back and no home work is done, even when I ask her is it's all done and she says yes. The kids come to me with there pain because they can't express it at moms. If they do they get yelled at or pushed off like no big deal. Taking control of all the family health and financial stuff, big weight on my shoulders. Stress of the house finally coming to a close. This part is bigger then I thought. I was putting to much expectation on it. Like it would really hit home with the wife. But like Sandi once told me. They will do what ever there neurotic mind tells them to do to keep the fantasy going. Then I realized that this changes nothing. They are still together half the time like now. All it is is not letting them live for free. Now they have a payment. And it's not a house it's is a little 2 bedroom cabin under his name. 25 once told me they have to get closer before they start finding the bad parts with each other(something like that). I still don't want the divorce. Maybe she does maybe she doesn't. But there must be some reason she isn't or some reason that they are not buying a big house for all of them. I'm just not to that point yet. Still building my new life, heck it's only been a year. And I've done a lot for me and my kids.

Zelda the feelings hit maybe every other week. You still miss your old life and family. But the joy I get when my kids see me anytime is unbelievable. The sad days usually come when they have to go to there moms for four days, only because they are sad and don't want to leave. I appreciate that you think I'm doing a good job. This is probably the single most hard thing I've ever done being a single parent and I take a lot of pride in it.

Thank you for caring!
3kids