This need not be the end.

[Mozza]

Is it common that I've actually been thinking about whether or not this IS the right thing to do? Does that mean that maybe I DONT love my W as much as I think I do?? My mind HASNT changed, I do want to R with her and that's what confuses me. Maybe it's just healthy thinking and i'm not used to it!!

I'm just wondering if everyone has similar thoughts at times?

Yes, we all do. Maybell is coming to terms with the idea that her H is unfit as a father. BigMac recently declined his WAW's offer to reconcile and he signed the D papers. I have my own reflection on whether my WAW would be a fit partner for the next 40 years. HPoirot is seriously considering filing for D even though he would have preferred that this never happen. Zelda09 is nearing the piecing stage yet is sometimes upset by her H's recurring behavior. 3kids is wondering whether he should file for D.

For most of us, DBing means getting over an A. It's something we never considered -- in fact, we felt the same way you feel right now, thinking we'd never ever forgive this. But when it happens, we are faced with our choice and we often realize that there is much more than we thought to take into consideration. Some will decide it's too much to forgive, other will do it out of love, for the kids, for the shared history, for the remorse, etc.

As I discuss on my thread these days, it's probably healthy to detach and acknowledge that our WAW do not want us as partners. It's a good idea to explore why is it that we're so hung up on someone who has rejected us without any ambiguity.

I see you haven't posted to anybody else's thread in almost a month. This is a mutual support group, so it would be helpful to get more people interested in your sitch if you went around and offered words of support. In fact, it would help you get some perspective on your sitch to get a little involved in that of other people, providing support or even advice on things that are clear to you. We all struggle with different parts of DBing.