Tonight was very odd she tried several times to provoke me by bringing up her various resentments and about how I am untrustworthy, she didn't think she could trust me in going through the divorce if we did it ourselves of all things(I couldn't help myself I had to lol) that I was trying to control everything by telling her she had to move out etc. That she wants to move D forward, she can't leave the kids cause that would be abandonment and is use it against her. I told her there is already enough pain I don't want to any more.
So, so typical of WW's. I know that doesn't make it any easier, but the reason I continue to tell you it is typical behavior is so that you will not worry about her mental health and think she is having a breakdown. You will see every emotion before this is over.
Don't you love it, how it becomes an issue of her not trusting you? The irony is just too much! I believe I would have to say, "W, I think you have it backward. It is not about me being untrustworthy" in going forward with a D, it is about you being untrustworthy in our M!" This is not to encourage further arguing, but to call her out on this behavior.
A WW's mantra is the "you are trying to control" cr@p. I have my first thread to read where the WW did not pull this on her H. Don't defend your actions. Let her call it whatever she wants to. The point is that it doesn't sway your stance.
Let her think whatever, but don't let her get away with some of the stuff she says. Sometime just one word works well, like, "Wow" or "Really", and slowly shake your head in amazement.
When she says stuff about her not being able to trust you, look at her very straight and just say, "Seriously?". Then walk away.
It is odd how the WW wants to settle everything in one discussion. When she starts this, you may say something like, "I assume that means you plan to move out instead of trying to save our M". Or say there is only one issue to decide at the moment.
Be prepared, b/c she will turn it around to make you sound like the bad guy who is kicking her poor little cheating self out of her home.
The problem you guys have is you want to comfort her when she starts having a meltdown. I suggest you don't. Do not tell her everything will be alright. Let it hit her full on. She did this to herself and to her family. She needs to realize it and to be comforted.
I think you are doing exceptional well. Show your confidence and keep your distance. She is kind of like a scared aminal at the moment. If she gets cornered, she will bite.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
