Susana (5) - Stay the Night

[Zelda09]

Good insights about your clingy/cold. Keep searching!

I love the ex at a party frame of reference too.
Make the most of every interaction, but that means less is more sometimes. You at your best is what will re-attract.

IMO, these boards are helpful bc people will help hold the mirror up and call it like they see it. They're invaluable for the mirrors that get held up bc sometimes we're too close to see. The salad thing - of course you can explain (bc it made sense to you at the time) but maybe it's worth doing a little meditation, taking a day to think about 'smothering' and the whole spectrum of how that may have presented in the past? What forms it takes. And why, what is the root of it?

Here's a guess - anxiety is fear, right? Whether criticism or not, sounds like you're trying to control a lot about how he feels, what he thinks.

Devils advocate against the flood above - what you were doing is working to an extent. Think of where you were a month ago. Don't forget that! But I think you were in a stronger place before you rattled yourself. You made the most of opportunities you had with him and left him alone otherwise (I believe)?

Maybe in the hallway, that gesture could have lead to more, who knows. And I think it just comes down to doing what drew you guys to each other before you were married, just before he was sure of being into you. You probably made him work a bit, right?

If little games and SUPER nice texts, you and H taking care of each other, were your thing prior to your M, during happy spots...who are we to say it's too much? Idk what your 'thing' was with your H. You do! But if it all in fact IS over the top, and isn't ex at the party, or you 'dating'...there ya go

I'm a sports coach. One of the best analogies that float around in our sport -You have this puppy. You love it. You can hold it. You hold on too tight, you're gonna choke the life out of it. Hold gently.
(Puppy = r)

Sounds like you are due for a break. One day of DB and H free thoughts!