Wife during deployment EA/PA ongoing #4

[Complex]

I see what you are saying. Some part of it does sound sincere. It's very similar to what my W is doing and all the other WAW.s. They DO tell you the truth about how they feel like but leave details and other truths (eg. feelings for OP), and due to the lacking trust you mistrust them and they get mad at you and validate that the separation is necessary. We then give them all the validation they need/wanted.
In this case you have to take her serious tho I think. Respect what she is saying. It's important. It sounds like she feels humongously pressured from all sides. Which drives her away, far away. It also sounds like she's blaming you a lot...the email is like YOU YOU YOU.
Then she seems to ask you about the NC order but somewhat sneaky between the lines. It sounds like she is putting the pressure back on you now by forcing a decision...warning you with "I'm at a breaking point". She doesn't specify what she means by that. D? Her attempt to blackmail you like this is only between the lines.
I'm not experienced enough to figure out a response to that. But I tell you one thing: DON'T let it get to you too much. Don't overthink. It's a lot of standard script. She is testing you. You have to show her you take her serious, you gotta be calm and reasonable and not piss her off. Be a good listener when you meet with her. You have to set her free, but it can NOT be dependent on the NC order.
You just have to have the right mindset right now. Simplified: Love her (don't tell her), let her go, keep the boundaries you set, don't give in, stay strong.