Devotion To A Dream

[phunguy]

Tonight was very odd she tried several times to provoke me by bringing up her various resentments and about how I am untrustworthy, she didn't think she could trust me in going through the divorce if we did it ourselves of all things(I couldn't help myself I had to lol) that I was trying to control everything by telling her she had to move out etc. That she wants to move D forward, she can't leave the kids cause that would be abandonment and is use it against her. I told her there is already enough pain I don't want to any more. That I wouldn't keep the kids from her that we had agreed to 50/50 before and I intended to honor that agreement.

She continued pressing: "So what we are going to do, we need to discuss divorce". Then she started asking me questions about child care, school, and all kinds of kid stuff. I told her to stop. She said should I get an attorney? Or are we going to do this amicably? She told me she talked to an attorney and it would be expensive but she didn't want to do that because they would get any money we may have. She pressed me hard and I told her I didn't want to fight with her or talk about it. Maybe we should get a mediator? I asked her if she knew what that was she recited something vague about hiring them to do all the paperwork for us. She said maybe a lawyer would work for for both of us and I told her it didn't work that way.

She kept trying to discuss it with me and I kept telling her we weren't going to resolve anything now. She would throw her resentments in my face. I told her I didn't want to talk about it that she . She said "well you want me out what am I supposed to do? You gave me two weeks?" I told her she had to make that decision. That she could stay as long as she abided my boundaries.

What about the house. what about the debts, the cars all these questions, how do we do this ourselves? She said do I have to go through all the bills and figure it all out myself? I told her I didn't know I hadn't given any of it much thought. I told her I could ball park some numbers for her if needed. She kept asking me what we were going to do I told her I was just trying to focus on me and the kids right now. She was adamant and it went on for a good hour. I tried to leave several times but I couldn't, she was upset and I wanted to watch her process some of this. I repeated I didn't just want to not talk now. Then she'd veer off into into "you want to fight I'll fight " kind of talk "we can make this ugly" stuff like that. I told her if that's what she wants then do it. I told her that it was pointless to discuss this now that I don't want to fight with her, she got real upset I put my arm around her and told her to stop and that everything would be ok that we'd figure it out in time. She cried in my shoulder for a bit. I told her that we are both tired and could talk another day, that there would be plenty of time to talk about this sort of thing.