I could be wrong because I only check in here sporadically, but I think you guys are spending wayyyyyy too much time focusing on/discussing the A and your "problems." In doing so, you're pretty much holding a mirror up to your problems 24/7. I know it's mostly your W's hang-up, but you don't seem to be helping matters by not being solution-oriented and trying to come up with SOMETHING that poses a solution to the recurring problem.
Try the date nights I've harped about. Plan something fun ... something that will make you both laugh. Something that either PREVENTS you from talking ... or you both agree that the dates will be "A-free" nights. No talking about the A or your relationship.
Do you have a comedy club nearby?
M: 40 H: 44 Married 14 years S11 & D6; D20 & D19 from previous M 2BDs/PAs, 8 years apart Piecing: April 2014
