Wife during deployment EA/PA ongoing #4

[Train]

As for the way to handle separating your belongings, I'm torn because I'm trying to separate my experience from yours.

After I told H to leave our home because he continued to disrespect me in front of our children - and he showed he didn't want to end his A - I packed his belongings (neatly) in boxes, put them on the front porch and let him know he could pick them up at his convenience. If I had it to do all over again? I'd do the same thing.

But if you take more of the "RobX approach" that Starsky posted the other day? I don't know. Like, it's a tougher stance, to be sure. But it's softer in its own right, too. (It's also causing me terrible belly-aching about that NC order once Starsky wrote about the approach ... and how it's different - in some fundamental ways - from what I'd normally think you should do.) And if you embrace THAT approach, I'd have half-a-mind to think the best thing you could do is also drop the NC order.

I am not at all qualified to direct you on that. I'll defer to Starsky; he DID already mention that he'd advise you to keep quiet about it and HOPE that W doesn't mention it in the event you decide to go with that approach.

But I just thought I'd offer that I've really gone back-and-forth about your situation the past week since reading Starsky's thoughts about the different approaches. And even *I* am confused about the best one for you ... and how to handle that NC order if you commit to the one approach.

I think it's something that needs to be talked about and debated THOROUGHLY before you do it. But I have to be honest: it's really been gnawing at me.