Wife during deployment EA/PA ongoing #4

[Train]

She believes that i have done everything in the attempt to hurt her and manipulate her into getting what i want. Those words are straight from her mouth. She would say that if i would have stepped back not pursued, snooped, and just let her have her space to think things might have been better.

Rysin, what would W's complaints about your M have been before she decided to betray you and sleep with another man??

Please allow me to be clear about something: EVERY cheater will rewrite marital history once they're cheating. My H, the first time he cheated, had been "miserable" the entire time we'd been together ... even though he had 18 months of dating me to decide he didn't want to marry me ... and then 18 months of being married to me BEFORE he left me the first time because he was "so miserable" the entire time he'd known me.

He returned to our M after being S for four months. We were together for more than eight years after that. And then he cheated again, claiming he had been "miserable all 10 years of our M." He even looked at my grown daughters and asked: "What? Do you think I should stay miserable for the rest of my life???" (FTR, he came back after only TWO months of S that time and has been back since.)

And I know you were assuming up there what your W might say if she could tell us her complaints of your M - because that's essentially what 25 asked of you - but you said she wouldn't have wanted you to pursue or snoop.

I mean, duh. Of course she didn't want you to snoop. What cheating spouse wants to be busted? Of course she didn't want you to pursue. She'd rather have run off into the sunset with her lover.

I'll ask you to assume, too, but I'm going to ask you to narrow down your assumptions a bit: What are W's marital complaints - PRE-AFFAIR - that sting? Has she offered any?