Susana (5) - Stay the Night

[Mozza]

Hi susana4 - Sorry if I was a little harsh earlier. It tends to happen when something is clear to me and not to others and it's something I need to work on.

I'm wondering about the place of sex in your M. How long after he first asked you out did you two sleep together? Men can think with their genitals sometimes and it's usually advised to delay sex until you know the other person enough to want their company without the sex. If you're pulling him back with your sexy bras, is he going to stay for the right reasons? What else about your sparkly personality does he like? What will he miss if he leaves you? Or what 180s will make him reconsider his assessment of you?

I think you are right about me confusing re-attraction with pleasing. I'm still not really sure I get the difference! Is it about not caring what he thinks?

I think you're confusing attraction within and outside of a relationship. Think of it that way: if a random colleagues comes to you and says that he has cooked this lunch for you and also bought you this CD that you'll certainly love considering your likes on Facebook and that he'd like to take you to a show of the band you mentioned in Twitter, how will you feel about him? I'll venture a little creeped out. Now if your husband does the same thing? You'll be head over heels. It's because your mutual love makes it reasonable to make those efforts. But for the colleagues, the lack of reciprocation make it weird for someone to care that much.

Outside of a relationship, the girl at the bar who's flashing me a smile and then turning to her friends is attractive. The girl at the social event who's funny and passionate is attractive. They're mysterious; they're a target for the hunter. I want their attention on me before someone else gets it. The girl who showers me with interest and does all kinds of things to please me is not nearly as attractive.

Train gave you great advice, but hopefully this also helps a little.