Jim

In the 12 steps, there are steps of atonement. Atonement takes a great deal of time and patience.

Above all Jim, atonement means letting go of the past, atonement can only be made to gain peace. Actually it does not matter that W is unaccepting. This is for you.

Jim, you can choose to release, you can choose to let go of this pain?

Jim, you make no excuses, abuse is abuse, lack of support, judgement, lack of care are unacceptable to Jim, only Jim can know the reasons for it and stop.

You appear to see yourself as having had these faults and want to hang on to judging yourself for this.

I am probably going to say something which seems very cruel and hard but I say this with all the best intent.

Jim, you seem to want to feel this way as it 'were your 'self punishment' for those sins and it can feel right to hang on to this. Hanging on to it as if this were atonement. It is the antithesis of atonement.

Judging yourself, blaming yourself, and harming your own recovery is as damaging to you and the potential recovery of Jim as is the behaviour that went before it.

Hanging on to this judgement is preventing you from recovery and change. It keeps Jim stuck, it also stops Jim from DB. It serves to keep Jim where he is, looping.

Jim you can choose to forgive Jim. Please do this for the sake of your children then you can atone to W.

V

Last edited by Vanilla; 02/24/15 12:16 AM.
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose.
V 64, WAW