Someone please help me with a plan of action!

[Card29]

Hi Phil, and welcome. There is wealth of knowledge and experience here. Listen closely and practice your changes every day. Don't get discouraged by your previous mistakes or any that happen in the future....we all do it! The key is striving to eliminate them. As you can see from Cadet's post, there is a ton of stuff for you to read and learn about. The most immediate advice I can give you is:

- Read Sandi's 37 rules (posted to top of message board) immediately.

- You said you've read DB. That's good. Re-read it. But have you read DR (Divorce Remedy)? If not, read that first before re-reading anything else

- Listen to the vets on the board. I consider a vet anyone with a registered date of 2013 or older, but there are some wise 2014's and 2015's, too.


Try to relax about time scales. Definitely try not to burn that "1 year" mark in your brain. She is in the most chaotic phase of her entire life right now, so she has no clue what she wants one year from now. She might leave a month from now, or maybe a year will come and go and she's still there. Whatever happens, you obsessing about that 1 year date is not going to help you. Read about the Stockdale Paradox. Time scales are your worst enemy when you're going through trauma like this. They either give you false hope or impending doom.