I've been hesitant on posting this update because I'm not sure how it will go over on these boards, but here it goes anyways...

Couple weekends back I went to a local bar with a friend of mine. Long story short, a discussion about cheesy pickup lines eventually led me (innocently) to a table of two women behind us. Conversation took place and a while later my buddy took off. The two women asked if they could join me at the bar and we carried on our conversation (I even provided my story, which went over better than I've been expecting it to). In my new found confidence, these opportunities almost come across as a game in my own head. Having always been an introvert, I've been 'testing' myself on how outgoing I can be in different situations.

Well, to get to the point of my story, I 'hooked up' with one of the women. Yes, I had been drinking, but not enough to effect my decision making. I knew perfectly well what I was doing and looking back on it, probably was the initiator (even though she asked me for my number). To be honest, I almost felt numb afterwards- like I should feel terrible about it, but didn't?? I've had moments where I think back on it and do feel that it was probably wrong based on my morals/values. Then I have moments where I think if she called me up this weekend, I'd say 'sure'. To be clear- I have no intent on starting a R with her and I think she felt likewise.

I felt no guilt or that what I was doing was wrong that night. And to be honest, still to this day I don't know how I feel about it, which is why I'm posting. I've never done that before. My W was my first 'real' R (probably part of our problem) and the first person I had ever been intimate with. I do feel a bit of guilt, but also a boost in confidence in that it showed me that there ARE other fish in the sea.

I've been S for almost 1 1/2 yrs and I've 'moved on' from W emotionally. Our only interactions are kid/schedule related and we still struggle with being cordial with each other. Ex- sent W an email yesterday about all the things going on with the kids this week and she took it as insulting her parenting skills?? I think the problem is that we both interpret the other's communication as attacking.

Anyways, I know some of you will think I was wrong for my actions, but knowing this forum is anonymous, I feel safe in sharing my story.