To make a long story short about 1 year ago my W stopped greeting me at the door for a hug and a kiss after a day at work. She said she was not going out of her way for me any more. Soon after that she stopped holding my hand while out walking with her. Soon after that making love with her was like being with a robot she had no emotion at all. A few months later I got the ILYBINILWY any more speech. 5 months ago began our in house separation, no sex and separate bedrooms.
And how did you respond each time she would pull back like this?
These are very, very common things in a lot of troubled marriages, but I'll be honest -- it's very odd how your wife sort of "announces" to you exactly what she's doing. Why is she calling all of the shots in your marriage? You sound like you're afraid of her.
Your first plan needs to be to follow DB/DR, and Sandi's 37 rules, and STOP the "melty man" thing. Before you can ever hope to get back to her being in love with you, she has to first RESPECT you, and Step #1 in that is to:
RE-BUILD ATTRACTION.
If it were me, that's where I'd focus my efforts.
After you re-read DR, I'd recommend "No More Mr. Nice Guy" and "Hold On to Your N.U.T.S.," and perhaps "Co-Dependent No More." I think you would find a lot of help in those.
