Susana (5) - Stay the Night

[Mozza]

Starsky - what about the text made you as a man think it could be a "test"? I honestly did think it was lighthearted, so I'm interested in a man's perspective on it.

Here's my blunt man perspective on it: it was not lighthearted, it was over the top. Setting up a quiz about the carrots and bok choy then texting me about it when I just go about eating lunch? Like it's that important? And you adding that you took all this time to cook something else? Gosh, give me some space. Put the cucumbers in there and move on to something important, I'm embarrassed you took this much time just to make sure I don't put a tooth in a mushy cucumber. You're certainly not playing hard to get.

Remember that you might spend hours holding back from contacting him, but it doesn't feel that way to him. As I told someone else on these boards (jim0987?), imagine a coworker is normal around you, but blows you a kiss once a day. Will you think he's 99% normal? You'll think he's a creep all the time. So these little things you do that are too much are what stick with him. You need to be very patient to give him the space to experience the distance and the space you're trying to create.

Thanks Mozza. What discourages me is that I understand these sitches take a long time, but he and I haven't been together that long and I feel like it must be correlated to the length of the R. I want to save my M but at some point relative to the length of the M I think I will have to give up. I don't know what point. I've heard of people's sitches lasting several years and that would be the length of our R.

That is an excellent question for all of us here, but it's especially relevant in your situation for the reasons that you listed. Vets like Starsky309 have said here that they wouldn't have pursued if they didn't have a long relationship and kids with the WAS. I'd say that I'd be working much harder to get over my WAW if we didn't have nearly 10 years and two kids together. So, this guy who's running away after 1 year of marriage, is he the one with whom you want to spend the next 50 years your life expectancy gives you? Will he be there for you? Will you feel secure? Is he really that irreplaceable? The answer is yours.