Searching for Answers

[Panthr]

So it’s been about 3 weeks since I posted anything here but have been checking everyone’s stories on daily basis. Definitely good therapy.
In the meantime, I have changed my screen name to something a little more aggressive (Panthr) that reflects some changes in my attitude.

Latest……
So, for the most part the “silent treatment” continued throughout the month. Only the occasional text to let each other know where the kids are.
However, even when she does communicate of she is taking the kids out, she will do it not by letting me know directly, but by talking “loudly” enough to the kids so I can hear of their plans.
I realize that the “silent treatment” could be part of MO for the WAW, but I really think that it goes much deeper. So, she has befriended the mother of our boys playmates. She herself has gone through a divorce and normally she isn’t someone that she would hang out with but I’m sure she is receiving validation from her. During the earlier part of the month she was better with the kids, but rather manic. Since then she seems to have normalized with the boys. Back on 2/7 she texted that was going out, I just texted back okay. She left at 415 in the afternoon and didn’t come back till past 1. I also had gone out the day before. Valentine’s Day came and obviously I didn’t acknowledge, however I did help the boys make her V-day cards earlier that week and made sure she they gave it to her that morning. I bought the kids heart cookies and made them red waffles. She came downstairs and did say thank you to be for helping the boys with the cards. I told her, you’re welcome. Now in the past she had always been really good withy these holidays, but I was disappointed she did nothing for them, except giving them a second hand used wall clock. I gave the boys toy monster trucks with promise that we would go to see them. I think out of guilt she asked then if boys wanted to go to movies. She took them and afterwards spent day at her divorcee neighbor’s house for 5 hrs. with the boys. I noticed in the refrigerator strawberries from an edible arrangement and the vase in the dishwasher. Not sure if from OM or work friends. I was disappointed she didn’t do much for the boys on V-day.

A few days later on Monday 2/16, I took a half day from work to get some things done. The boys were supposed to be at the MIL’s that day and she was supposed to have a 2 hr. delay (teacher).
I was downstairs when I heard the garage door open ---Darn! They were home. Turns out her school district closed because of the weather. She hadn’t talked to me in weeks, but challenged me and asked in a ticked off manner, why was I home. She started vigorously texting and she sucked me in to an argument even as I remained calm. She said that she wanted to move forward to with the D. I basically said that I wasn’t ready and will not be granting it to her and I left the house to run the errands like I had planned and the divorcee neighbor came over for a few hours while I was gone. She said well talk to me when you are ready. She rehashed some of the same old things, but what I found was interesting was that she said we couldn’t have trust because I had the GPS placed on her car (which she found end of December). I shouldn’t have gone there, but I said “so wait, you are saying that there is a moral equivalent to having an affair versus placing a GPS on your car?” She said well I’m sure you are referring to me as a wh#re. which I am not. I’ve been doing everything I can with friends and family to keep the road paved smoothly –no even telling my sister.

A few days later I received a letter from her lawyer basically saying Amy has retained him and she wants to know how I would like to proceed with the divorce. This isn’t a legal document and I have no obligation or desire to respond to it. As far as the OM being in pic, I’m sure he still is. She was off last Thursday because of a snow day so I’m sure she saw him and she even sent a text to me the previous Sunday when I was coming home with the kids from Monster Jam.

I’ve maintained a positive attitude around the house especially with the boys, staying upbeat like I normally am. I’ve continued some of my GAL’s including running another 5K this weekend.