Wife having emotional affair 5

[3kids]

Sandi, that is a question I've been asking myself lately. Seriously!

First, I was thinking it is the house. I'm about a month out from finalizing it being sold. So do I wait so I don't have any trouble with her, don't know? Second, how do you know your emotionally ready to do it. Although I don't like to admit it, I still have some hope. A lot of hope was put on her finally finding a place by her self. Facing life changing events. Third, is something I said to myself at the beginning. I did not want to be the one to say we are done. I want a divorce. More because I just can't fathom that image in my kids eyes. Daddy wanted a divorce. Even when my daughter came home last night. And told me that she spent most of the weekend in her room because she got in trouble for not being nice to OM all weekend. Then she says I hate this rotten divorce. Then my six year old chimes in and says the exact same thing. But adds I wish this never happened I want it all back to normal. How do answer back to that much hurt. That much pain. The simple I love you's and I'm sorry get old. I want to tell them. Be mean if you don't like him, be rotten to the core. It's your feelings express them, let them be heard. But that's not right either. Still haven't figured out the best option on that.

Who am I to crush there dreams and hopes. I think you know how much my kids mean to me. If I file to me it's because I've given up all hope. And am I in the right state of mind to find the right person for me next. Am I there yet I don't know, I don't think so. I don't feel it yet. I'm busy, I GAL, and I have my own life now. How you get to that point is just not getting to me.

Maybe because every time lately I get the kids back. They just want so much love from me. It's getting so exhausting. If you know what I mean. Don't get me wrong I love it to death. I just feel like I'm trying to fill there needs for both parents. I want to be there for them so much. But listening to there pain just eats me up in side. And I don't think asking for a divorce would get much accomplished.

If any one has any advise on the kids on how they act towards OP. Like when they show hatetred towards them. Just looking for a good response.

Thank you so much for just being here!
3kids