Raliced - Sextet

[Underdog]

Yikes, let me clear up the birthday thing. My birthday is in April. But since I birthed this child, I figure it's a day we both celebrate? Sorry for the lack of clarity. I was bent over most of the day, painting furniture (I'm sore today for that feat). Maybe the blood rushed to my head and I'm oxygen deprived today?

Co-morbities? That's a yucky phrase. Notice my preschool adjective? I'm regressing. It must be because I've been homebound from a weekend of solid snow?!?!

Well - I hate to say it - but I think one issue STBX had was that I might have been a little too nonchalant about his profession.

That is incredibly interesting, Raliced. My dad lost 6 friends during his time on the force, the last one being his best friend. He was a DC cop, not in Mayberry. He never brought work home, but he went to bars after his shift ended with his officers and drank his stress away. I didn't know better. All I knew was that he'd come home drunk and my mom would be pissed. For days.

Were/are you in denial or what's the deal here?

Now I have 3 really good friends who are cops (I'm discounting all my family members, because they don't count). They tell me stories, and I'm acutely aware of how dangerous their jobs are. Statistically speaking, being shot isn't the only way they are compromised. One of my buds (who is in fabulous shape, BTW) was extremely close to being knifed by a big ass Samoan on meth - at 6 am in the Walmart parking lot. I think that scared him a whole lot. And I probably don't need to illustrate how unpredictable domestic calls are? My dad's BFF was killed in one of those situations when I was 14. Two were killed on their service bikes, which is why my mom never allowed him to go into that area of service.

Lately I fantasize that some day, 20 years from now, we'll be at a place where he can spill about everything- although I doubt he would even remember at that point.

I dunno, Raliced. He might. My godfather was a cop, and his XW was a friend of my mom's from MN. They divorced when I was 12, and left 2 kids my age behind. We always considered them our cousins, because we lived next door to each other and were basically raised together. Ironically, I modeled my D on a complete 180 of my aunt and uncle's--which was the most angry divorce I have ever witnessed. (LOL, and yes, the youngest is a cop who works on the bomb squad; my brother chose a career on the other side of the law, though.) When the oldest (who is 6 months younger than I) got married in 1996, my godparents BLEW.US.AWAY by dancing together on and off all night long. I had already heard my aunt's side of the story, when my uncle joined us at the table and told us his regrets and that he knew the catalyst was a fellow cop who called my aunt to tell her he was cheating on her. He looked us all in the eyes and said, "That guy had a massive crush on you, Judy. And he wanted you bad enough to try to get me out of the picture. I was not cheating on you. But no matter what I said, you weren't going to believe me, and he was going to go out of his way to create trouble. I should have fought for you. If I knew then what I know now, I would have. I'm sorry."

I'm pretty sure that hell froze over at that moment, Raliced. Sad to say, my aunt passed away 5 years ago, and my uncle has Alzheimers so bad now that he doesn't even recognize his daughter (but he always remembers my dad). When she visits him, he gets irritated and says, "When the hell is Judy coming to see me?" We literally laugh our asses off, Raliced. We used to sit in our bean bag chairs, read, listen to music and talk about how dysfunctional her parents' D was. It seems amusing now that we're both 52.

So let me ask another question. If your H was in the armed services, would you feel differently? Or a fireman? What if he was an office manager? Why do you think you didn't give him the respect or at least the admiration he was seeking? Or was this not about his profession at all? Not a slam, sweets. I'm not saying you should have had him on a pedestal or anything. But I'd NEVER, EVER date one. NEVER. That adrenaline thing is real, and I have yet to meet a cop who didn't have an addiction; most are very poor at recognizing it. But they make great friends and I *adore* all my cop friends. There is nothing I wouldn't do for them. Well, except give them a reason to use their tasers or service weapons on me...

So statistically speaking, I might have to go get some stats to challenge you on your sleeping like a baby night. Unless he actually works in Mayberry? Or he's actually Barney Fife? Then you *should* worry that he'll shoot his own foot clean off?!?!

BTW, I have a HUGE soft spot for cops. I used to host what I call "cop breakfast" - I'd invite my aforementioned pal and tell him to grab some friends and come on by at 6 am at the end of the midnight shift. I don't do it now because I drop my D17 off at high school at 7 am and I don't have the time in the morning. But I might start doing "cop dinner" for the swing shifts on weekends... Hmmm.