Talking to the SIL, ... or any of her family members for that matter, be careful there. While they may agree that your W is in full MLC and making mistakes, I doubt they have done the research and homework you have done ya know? Learning the tools we have here we know for a fact pressure is not good for the MLC'r ... maybe the SIL spit some words of truth and your W took that as pressure sending her off spinning, because up to that point seemed things were going pretty smooth for you. Just something for you to think about and be aware of, I know for me my SIL will say/do things that makes W spin .. I do not talk about her but yeah we get some unwanted help from others through this journey and the LBS is the first one to receive the backlash regardless of the source.
I think you are right on the mark there... SIL actually has done quite a bit of reserach on MLC -- she's our age as well and she and her H have had some rough patches as a result of ML... However, you are correct in that I am not sure she is aware of how much some "helpful advice" could/would be viewed by my W as more pressure... My guess is the same as yours... she said some things in the spirit of "advice" and W went spinning off into Monster mode (where she still is as of this morning based on how she behaved before she left for work.)
I am careful what I do share with SIL, but she does believe W is in major MLC and SIL and H are both horrified by what my W is doing and both are convinced she will wake up a couple of years down the road and regret everything she is doing right now.
As for pressure... W was pressuring me yesterday regarding the co-parenting agreement and other separation stuff... Just sent her a draft of the co-parenting agreement and included some info that I found about child support in the case of 50/50 custody splits... She is NOT going to like what I shared with her, but I had to be honest and share that even in 50/50 splits, the courts will often order child support based on what each parent earns -- each parent owes the other a percentage based on number of kids and then the parent who owes more pays the difference to the other parent.
Cali -- do you have an extra spew jacket I can wear for the rest of the week after W sees the draft of the co-parenting agreement?
I'm also willing to bet that if she hasn't already done so, she'll be lawyering-up after she sees the draft. I've already got a lawyer, so no worries on my end... But I think the spinning and the Monster are about to reach Cat 5 strength.
Me 48, Her 50 (Same-Sex Couple) 3 Children Together: 9.5 years before BD BD: Week of 10/27/14 ExW started EA w OW 9/2014 ExW married OW 12/2015
