Part 14 - Contents may flip without warning

[edz]

Morning all

busy one again so far, wfh as landlord coming around to sign off on repair works, back in the office tomorrow.

Upped the game to 40 reps on the exercises this morning, hurt less so either ive killed all the nerves in the area (possible) or they're rebelling less. Still ouch!

Nothing from w since yesterday, again not really expecting that much between her H.E. timetable (I resist reminding her she sets this timetable and can change it so she and s are exactly as busy as she wants them to be) and post weekend radio silence its all pretty much situation normal.

Have to tax the car online today so hope that doesnt pose any issues (had to wait for payday to afford it so lets hope the online systems all still match up post move or it'll be the post office tomorrow).

So from yesterday, bits I didnt post about. We got into the same discussion briefly (w wont talk when s is about, w is almost always with s unless I have him hence our main talking is on the phone when he's here, a mad situation really).

W briefly called me a bit standoffish when we were out with s at the rink and w's friend briefly went away. Said no, of course not just respecting her space and I thought she was chatting with friend. I'm happy to be more involved with her and friend and then was for the rest of the event (apart from running over to correct laces, boots and help out with s when he went a-flying on the ice!)

Later after the skating and lunch w was having a quick chat and follow up email while s wasnt about and after I came home, I managed to hold PMA, just confirmed and stood on the same status. No I do not want this (sep/div) I equally respect her decisions and understand how we got here (I did not go into details or start accepting blame, nor did I blame her). I respect her opinions and decisions and I am getting on with things, that I want s and both of us to be happy going forward and I would prefer to work on our marriage and put in the work. W never opens up at these points though, she seems to be ready to start talking but once she doesnt get me saying im done im off she stops, I just move on with the conversation though and try to remain PMA prodding at her for her thoughts or feelings on moving forward is not going to do any good, she'll tell me when she's ready or I will stop waiting, only she knows how long its going to be before she's ready to talk, I have to accept maybe never I suppose. Its that that slams me sometimes.

Im ok(ish) in my own little environment, I have my flywheel going of work, house stuff, GAL, some fun and time with s and the momentum keeps me moving forward. Just after days as close to being together as a family was yesterday I do wonder what she wants.

Thing is still a factor of course, nothing I've seen on it, of course w doesnt know I know anything about it so she wont raise it and I cant talk to anyone so just have to put that it in the non-constructive pile and put in my file this away for now box.

So, yes, monday.... carrying on carrying on.