Intimacy can be about many things not just R. It is talking intently about any subject that is interesting to both of you or just to W. It could be about cabbages, if you ran an allotment. The health of a friend, the purchase of a car, going to the gym, your children and W's new shoes. Being like a friend, making I statements and liking and enjoying. Laughing and kindness.
Above all kindness at the day's issues and please do not solve my problems. OK, my boss is on my back, the children are playing up and I stubbed my toe, so I am feeling low, just say that sounds awful and listen. put away the told yo so and here is how to fix it.
It is about your eye contact, involvement and interest. Listening like a lover, validating and empathising. Asking open questions. Showing real interest.
As for emotion, as long as you can identify it then you can say it. I feel happy today because..... Our D danced like a little fairy in the school show. I am sad because my friend is ill.
Gently, slowly and with kindness.
V
Freedom is just another word for nothing left to loose. V 64, WAW
