Seperated, she is with someone - I'm desperate (2)

[vdubber]

I did pretty good today but everything hit me again tonight and I broke down sobbing. I get my kids tomorrow so this next week after I put them to bed at night i need to continue reading DR. It's hard to see any hope for R when I have no contact with W. The next 2 weeks at work are going to be very busy which is both good and bad as I've had days where I really stuggle focusing at work.

W actually had texted me this evening to remind me there is no school Friday but kids daycare is open, they close at 6 instead of 8 as normal. I just waited 30 minutes and then said ok. I always get them before 6 anyway. It's strange but I almost seem to have a tougher time with breaking down when I hear from her more. I had the calls/texts late Fri night, text about D7 sick saturday..which I actually sent to check on D7...and the picture she sent today along with asking how S18 was doing in school, and then the text tonight about school closed friday. Is it wrong that im thinking it would be easier for me emotionally to just plain not hear from her rather than getting a text or more each day or two? Now that it is her week without kids I doubt I will here from her at all this week. What to do when hearing from her makes me break down but not hearing from her for several days is also difficult as I want her to try and reach out just to know she thinks of me.

Yes I'm backsliding again as I am worried too much about what she is thinking or feeling. I guess I didn't keep busy enough today and time to just sit and dwell on R or rather lack of is not doing me any favors.