Masterpiece...

[Jer2911]

Oh joy... Monster is back in full force... Her sister stopped by this afternoon to pick something up from the house... W wasn't home so sis asked me how things were going. I gave her an update... W got home and I went back inside the house. Her sister also believes very strongly that this is a major MLC and that my W is making a disastrous mistake... W and sis talked for a bit outside and when W came in she was obviously in monster mode... No clue what sis said to her, but I assume it wasn't what W wanted to hear... Got son ready for a baseball clinic and then she left the house with him... 30 minutes later I got a nasty email regarding the progress of our separation process... Took all of my self-control to not write back with a bunch of obscenities...

W is now reading to the kids before bed... I'm in the master bedroom now... If she tries to speak to me tonight it will take all of my self-control to not just yell f-you! at her.

This was all her choice...
She's the one who started an A with OW while she was telling me she was working on us and did not have any intentions of wanting out of our marriage...
She's the one breaking my heart...
She's the one who never really tried to make things work...
She's the one rewriting the history of our life together to justify her current actions...
She's the one who decided it was over with no opportunity or effort at reconciliation...
She's the one having the stupid MLC and not getting any help for her depression or hormone issues or combination of both...

OMG -- so angry right now...

I need an interview for one of those jobs asap so I can afford to move out... I'm so done with this BS... Let her live the life she thinks she wants... Then maybe she'll start to see that I am not the source of her unhappiness and that what we've had together isn't as bad as she has made it out to be... Maybe then she'll wake the f up and realize what she has destroyed... Maybe then she'll realize that the grass is not greener with the little 25-year old OW... And maybe she won't ever wake up or realize what a mess she's made... Either way -- I'll have the mental, emotional, and spiritual space that I need to keep moving myself forward through my own growth journey...

I know I said several posts back that I am sure that God is in control of all of this and that perhaps the job situation has not improved because I need this time right now to focus on me, but right now I am questioning God's plan for all of this because right now all I feel is a lot of anger and bitterness towards my stbxW.

Going to watch the Oscars now and try to forget about the MLC hurricane that has demolished our happy little family.