Plain Vanilla #9

[Vanilla]

Thanks Z

This sitch is at this time definitely not thriving. I do understand what you mean and the example you give is excellent. There are times when functioning in adversity is not enough.

V has a view that V is not in denial (de Nile loving this Gg). This M with this H is not working and indeed I neither want this M nor this H. That sounds strange, I am working for a different M , with a different H and a different V.

V is standing for V, the M is a by product. In some ways a destraction. V is being a work in progress.

So let us look at GAL, really look at it. Why do we do it and what does it do for us?
Why does V believe so much in GAL.

GAL for its own sake is a distraction from pain. This can on occasion be enough.
GAL changes the environment, gives a new perspective.
On its own to start with GAL is hard to do. We want to stay in pain, we are afraid we will miss something important with our OH. We fear we have too much burden and we are afraid GAL means change and distance, we would rather focus on the OH.

Then we GAL , it gives PMA and perspective.

Then finally we GAL with purpose, for ourselves. For example:
To learn to dance to improve our social skills.
To have activities to improve our R with our children
To learn a new skill
To get healthy....
Etc

We do this for ourselves. The rest is bonus.
Forget the theories and endless analysis
When we GAL we are involved in our own lives, we are interested in other things, we are active involved. We are self centred not selfish. We are the best we can be because that makes us happy fulfilled and great parents, spouses, daughters, sons and lovers.

So why is V standing? V is standing for V, not for H or her M. To learn to be the best V she can be. It is a work in progress.

Has V made mistakes in her M? Oh yes and please higher power and thank you higher power the screaming banshee has gone. Thank you H. Thank you DB for giving me new tools to use. Thank you TED for the wonderful talks. Thank you Amazon for the books, that I can now afford them. Thank you GAmanon and 12 steps, thank you Rotary. Thank you fellow DBers for insights, tools, tips, humour, care, love and support. Thank you for helping V to change for her own sake. Thank you for being part of the higher power, V has made every effort to allow her higher power take the load. V is no longer alone, she has her team.

And thank you Z for an insightful stimulating post.

V